
33:48
Hello, good morning!

34:11
I am able to see and hear everything, but neither my camera nor my microphone are functioning.

37:29
No worries, Marien!

37:50
Thanks!

38:19
I'm in the same boat as Marien.

44:09
Death of a loved one.

44:15
Domestic violence.

44:16
Emotional abuse

44:16
Feeling of helplessness

44:17
Health issues

44:20
Cancer

44:20
job losses

44:21
verbal abuse

44:21
Loss of a Loved one

44:22
addiction

44:25
cancer diagnosis

44:27
grieving a death

44:27
a pandemic

44:27
Homelessness

44:27
eviction

44:34
Bankruptcy

44:38
stress

44:39
spousal abuse

44:40
Natural disaster-hurricane, tornado, derecho

44:43
losing a job

44:45
Chronic homelessness, food desert, family conflict, neglect.

44:50
divorce

44:51
homelessness, domestic abuse, illness, death of a loved one

44:55
Prolongued illness and death of loved one

44:56
panic due to past stress

44:58
Mass shooting in the community

45:00
physical diagnosis

45:00
Racism

45:02
physical abuse

45:07
pandemic

45:09
Microagressions

45:09
work/school balance when everything has moved to a virtual environment

45:16
divorce

45:24
bullying or hostile environment

45:44
Homelessness, death, health issues, divorce

46:32
family changes

46:55
Pandemic

50:52
lol--no worries!

53:35
I have no sound

53:39
No sound - can't hear this.

54:17
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjJUQlodh0g Here's the video.

54:59
So when a family divorces, I am now a mother and a single mom; my kids are now from a "broken home;" a medical diagnosis-I am now a cancer victim/survivor

55:23
My parents age, I am now a caaregiver

55:33
abominations

55:46
When you become the parent to your parent (Alzheimers).

56:08
a soldier deploys--

56:24
Children being put into foster care, parent being sent to prison, financial issues causing children to live with other relatives other than direct parents.

56:43
You can be revictimized after a crisis by being labeled "unstable"

56:53
people first language is a game changer <3

57:00
homeless

57:04
a child with a mental health issue in schools "oh that child"

57:05
my husband still has trauma from being called a baby killer when he came back from Vietnam

57:08
A suicide survivor

57:19
Lackof understanding and treatment for PTSD

57:58
Recovering from the grief process

57:59
Triggering/being triggered

58:05
its everyday

58:22
need help with pandemic outcomes

59:35
Help self and understand others circumstances better

01:08:10
and for those of you who are supervisors: does your staff feel safe, loved, before learning new procedures, etc..

01:08:25
that's why I'm here Nan.

01:08:35
:)

01:08:44
Me too!

01:08:45
dealing with the safety and validity of masks at work - had a stressful day with an employee yesterday

01:09:13
and I'm learning that what feels safe for one person does not apply to all

01:09:30
Definitely Nan.

01:09:32
absolutely

01:09:52
yes

01:10:02
agreed

01:10:21
Its even more important when we're in the middle of this crisis

01:10:37
so relevant! "feels safe" and "is safe" often completely different things

01:11:14
https://www.bdperry.com/

01:16:12
it's never about the overdue book....

01:16:22
advice if both sides are under stress (maybe for different reasons)

01:16:30
so true, Nan!

01:17:36
Kindness goes a long way

01:17:53
Amen Olivia

01:18:13
acknowledging it is a huge step

01:18:19
YES

01:18:24
Take a breath, walk around the block.

01:19:04
When we notice we are in it if able take 3-5 minutes to recenter by affirmations/ deep breathing,

01:19:08
Oliva, there is a library that is now branding themselves centered on Kindness. We are adopting some of what they are doing for a new campaign for kindness, so to speak, including t'shirts that blend kindness with our already existing tagline. Thanks for bringing it up.

01:19:34
wonderful suggestions and mindset

01:19:35
beautiful, Shari!

01:19:53
can you share the library so we can all look at it?

01:20:52
Yes. I'll have to find it - teleworking today means one screen. :-)

01:21:07
:)

01:21:22
Also important to pair Empathy with Kindness. Trying to understand and/or identify with the person in addition to showing compassion is crucial.

01:21:47
heartbreaking

01:22:48
A colleague on here just reminded me - it's Alameda CA.

01:22:53
“High functioning”

01:24:04
If you have been *extremely* traumatized you might be leery of working in the Empathy and Kindness Library, because kindness has backfired and made you vulnerable to abuse in the past. . .people who have suffered abuse need to feel very safe in order to extend kindness

01:24:19
will they be having a harder time dealing with things in our current situation too?

01:24:28
especially to strangers and patrons who remind them of the abusers

01:24:31
https://www.alamedafree.org/Home

01:25:20
brings to mind the systemic trauma for people of color as it correlates to higher instance of health issues.

01:25:22
wow what a chart!

01:25:43
West Haven Public Library-100 Acts Of Kindness Goal Promoting Kindness and also has clothing

01:26:00
Maria--love it

01:26:50
Thank you, Maria

01:27:01
addiction, sobriety, then motorcycle accident, and 15 years of sobriety gone. Makes so much sense now, Thank you

01:27:51
@Dana <3

01:30:52
Especially children who are reaching the socialization stage right now. Making connections with emotions/ facial expressions, importance of exploration, play, connectedness.

01:32:20
yes julia

01:34:56
]\

01:35:01
0.21

01:35:36
4+/

01:36:34
So sorry...that was my cat : )

01:36:41
lol

01:36:57
looked like a juvenile call number to me

01:37:08
:)

01:37:08
lol

01:37:14
Funny... :)

01:37:20
lol too funny

01:37:22
LOL cat codes ^_^

01:37:27
He likes to "help"

01:38:07
cultural humility--what a great phrase

01:38:16
new term for me

01:38:20
Yes.

01:39:16
^-^ Good one... Even funnier...

01:39:29
Everyone is a world

01:39:30
Good term...Cultural Humility

01:40:50
Leave your ego at the door...

01:41:47
assume everyone has trauma--and now we really do!

01:42:35
any advice with it harder to see facial expressions?

01:43:01
I've decided to wave more often at my patrons when they arrive. Since they can't really see my smile.

01:43:15
Really look folks in the eye.

01:43:19
smiling eyes

01:43:45
They call that "smizing" - smiling with the eyes

01:43:47
Yes on smiling eyes, Nan!

01:43:58
waving! great idea

01:44:09
communicate to compensate for not being able to let your facial expressions do the work.

01:44:13
Any time face is covered subconsciously causes sense of distrust at least at first.

01:44:18
verbally I meant

01:44:31
yes Julia!

01:44:44
Saying good morning, good afternoon

01:44:53
Smiling is still important. It definitely makes a difference for more than just a facial expression. It makes a difference in your voice, posture, etc.

01:45:22
Smiling It makes you feel good

01:45:59
Puts you in a pleasant frame of mind er… brain

01:46:20
People do that to self soothe when they feel uncomfortable.

01:46:40
:) every day.....and then you rock when you aren't holding them.

01:46:46
it's soothing

01:46:58
is EFT connected at all to this?

01:47:06
relaxing

01:47:14
Due to past trauma, I get very uncomfortable with bodily contact.

01:47:38
It unnerves me when others touch me, especially at work.

01:48:06
we should all be mindful--especially those of us who are huggers

01:48:08
ow! port healing from chemo

01:48:28
All this goes to say that because one person finds comfort in something like this, others can be very uncomforted.

01:48:43
I always ask, especially at work, if it's ok to give someone a hug.

01:49:06
first worked better

01:49:26
stuffed animal helps too

01:49:28
I was a medium hugger but have been missing it this season

01:49:48
Amy - I sooo miss hugging people.

01:49:58
COVID sucks

01:50:01
I do prayer breathing when I have stressful thoughts

01:50:29
Ohmmmmm naymo ringyo kyo

01:50:59
right now with all of you here doing this important learning

01:51:02
hearing a patron be so excited that we had new pbs kids videos and listening to their story

01:51:13
Helping coworkers host a t-rex tea party for kids

01:51:14
I find joy everyday - in talking with my staff, learning something new, accomplishing a task

01:51:15
After storytime!

01:51:23
Every day!

01:51:31
we share stories everyday via email across the library system. I love reading about the impact we are having on our customers by providing services.

01:51:36
During Babygarten..Babies

01:51:36
Each day since starting with LVA

01:51:38
MS Excell worked correctly

01:51:44
teaching a class to staff and having them connect with the material

01:51:45
delivering curbside books to kids dressed as a unicorn

01:51:48
Reagen: <3

01:51:52
Curbside service brings joy everyday while we're closed!

01:51:52
Finding out that the adults have an Erin Hunter, finding all of the holds, seeing people jump and clap when getting their books they had been waiting on.

01:51:53
+----------------------------------------------------

01:51:57
When my boss told me I was clever in a proposal I wrote!

01:51:59
(love the t-rex tea party!)

01:52:19
I love the T-Rex tea party book!

01:52:31
Seeing patrons I haven't seen in awhile while taking books and movies curbside.

01:52:44
seeing students and faculty online for a library instruction session and helping them with their research papers.

01:57:02
talk a walk

01:57:02
take a walk

01:57:04
When your compassion is truthful thenit is satisfactory When your compassion is not truthful then it is not satisfactory

01:57:04
watch movies or embroider

01:57:06
take a walk

01:57:10
bad for me: cocktail

01:57:13
immerse myself in nature

01:57:15
good for me: yoga and knitting

01:57:17
walk, deep breathing, exercise

01:57:17
Go outside

01:57:18
silence

01:57:18
yoga, being outdoors

01:57:19
I'll have what Nan's having

01:57:23
diamond painting!

01:57:23
walk

01:57:23
sudoku

01:57:24
walking or petting my dogs

01:57:24
Go for a hike or go swimming

01:57:25
Leave the desk and take a walk.

01:57:25
Long walks

01:57:25
Deep breathing.

01:57:25
Get away from computer and walk.

01:57:26
anything outside

01:57:26
Go take a walk at the beach.

01:57:26
Reading

01:57:28
taking a moment and rhythmic breathing slowly

01:57:29
music

01:57:29
gin and tonic, girlfriend

01:57:29
play with my animals

01:57:30
Go for a long winding drive with the music loud and singing at the top of my lungs

01:57:30
increase sleep

01:57:31
Not ashamed to admit that I watch kitten videos

01:57:33
If I can, take a nap. If not take a walk

01:57:33
Facetime with family

01:57:36
origami

01:57:36
music

01:57:40
sleep

01:57:44
Music and walking around the block. Crocheting yet another afghan, my fur babies

01:57:45
art

01:57:46
talking with my husband

01:57:47
Get outdoors. Walk. Talk to my cat.

01:57:48
Reading a book to a child

01:57:49
Breathing exercises, veg out on tv, naps

01:57:49
a co-worker shared art restoration videos with me - so good!

01:57:50
prayer

01:57:53
SLEEP--me too beverly

01:57:55
repetitive mindless stuff--housework, cooking; forcing myself to go outside and walk; cuddling the cat

01:57:55
G&T extra sweet or a nice sangria

01:58:03
look out a window

01:58:04
painting

01:58:09
Listening to some jazz.

01:58:17
if I'm able to motivate--dance, writing, other creative or motion things

01:58:18
mindless phone games

01:58:21
yes, I chew a lot of gum when stressed!

01:58:23
being deliberately present with my small children, putting everything else aside.

01:58:24
I chew gum when I drive. It reduces stress

01:58:31
writing in journal/prayer to let it go

01:58:34
Garden

01:58:42
Journal

01:58:52
Breathing exercises, and yes prayer

01:58:53
and garden

01:58:57
when I'm driving and anxious--drinking water, eating something strong like a mint, singing out loud

01:59:03
Yes, gardening!

01:59:04
Yoga, taking a walk, meditating

01:59:08
Calling a friend

01:59:27
gardening

02:00:25
YES

02:00:28
I agree

02:00:33
Calming bottle for when they can’t get outside

02:00:48
Regarding the earlier exchange on touching: I was raised as a hugger, but my professional formation in the military re-trained me to not break into peoples personal space except maybe for handshakes. I feel that it reinforces my agency and autonomy over my own body, especially as a female in a predominantly male setting. But, in the civilian world, it just comes across as stand-offish. Ah well.

02:01:08
Eleanor, excellent observation.

02:01:18
making art

02:01:33
by myself

02:01:34
Reading with Dogs

02:01:52
In my kitchen, dancing to music, cooking for my family and friends

02:01:52
working on a craft project by myself

02:01:57
I love getting lost in new places. I feel my brain focus on where I’m at and where I am going.

02:02:07
teaching someone how to download ebooks - like the Ah Ha / wow time and helping others

02:02:10
Helping out students and patrons.

02:02:11
Singing/dancing to music while making dinner with my spouse

02:02:14
When I'm writing or reading

02:02:19
doing origami boxes for staff day

02:02:25
planning a new project

02:02:27
Completion of a longer term cognitively challenging project

02:02:41
share most draining - but probably shouldn't

02:02:55
@juliebreton - I totally agree that learning how to navigate new places is really enjoyable.

02:02:57
Whenever you see that lightbu

02:02:58
my husband usually shares his negative and it affects me. I need to start asking him for a good thng as well.

02:02:58
Mixture of both.

02:03:09
me too, Nan

02:03:13
It's like everywhere you turn is a new thing to learn about

02:03:22
My tendency is to share the most draining... I do share the fun parts of my day, but probably don't focus on them as much as the negative

02:03:24
I think I share both, but it seems like I experience way more draining than uplifting things

02:03:30
Nan, good point, this is an issue, others sharing negatives is especially draining to me.

02:03:39
@Eleanor I feel my brain expand during those times :)

02:03:52
New things are always positive

02:03:53
Talking to my son and husband and knowing they are happy

02:04:08
My wife and I do tell each other about work. both positive and negative.

02:04:11
I really appreciate this reminder to lead with the positive

02:04:18
Robert, new things aren’t always positive for people who have social anxiety.

02:04:31
Or any kind of anxiety

02:04:35
I don't have anyone to share things with - I think that sometimes impacts me because I may dwell longer on the negative

02:04:36
Helping users resolve issues with lost materials. Being able to make a difference for them by waiving a few fines when there were extenuating circumstances. It makes me feel good and it also positively impacts that persons overall view of the library.

02:05:05
Listening to story files from our dial-a-story narrator always makes me joyful

02:05:14
My perspective only... Correct, remember the other perspective

02:05:21
trying to move to a new location during the pandemic has been very stressful - it is a new thing and will be positive in the end but has meant a lot of change - even more than we expected

02:05:24
I have to go. I hope to catch the last half hour of this webinar later via the recording. What a fabulous session. Thank you!

02:05:27
true-we always hold onto the one negative comment instead of the thousands of positive comments

02:05:43
Bye Sonia! Thanks for being here!

02:05:54
Reagen, consider writing negatives down on paper and then burn them prayerfully, let them go

02:05:55
anyone else find that social media is terrible for dwelling on the negative?

02:06:04
Tiffany - YES

02:06:08
Oh my, yes!

02:06:09
I keep on thinking that I really need to start keeping a journal to release the stresses of my day. I just keep forgetting!

02:06:30
Daily gratitude practice before I go to bed. Write down three things. When I'm feeling down, I review the list.

02:06:39
Dr. Phil always says that words are important. :)

02:06:40
A friend embroidered a message for me when I was first diagnosed with lung cancer. "Carpe the hell out of this diem" I keep this at my workstation and use it as a mantra.

02:06:46
When I do a gratitude journal every day I do feel better! but I agree it is hard to keep it up

02:06:48
I keep a gratitude journal. Before leaving work, I write 3 things and one person I am grateful for during the work day.

02:06:48
And many of you on this call are on this list!

02:06:53
@TiffanyHayes - yes! I don't even do Social Media except for keeping up with LibraryLand colleagues.

02:06:58
WE vs. You when talking to a patron.

02:07:16
But my husband is on FB on and off all day, so I get the 'highlights' when I get home. Ugh!

02:07:35
@Eleanor: I made mine stop.

02:07:43
@Eleanor, my partner does this too, it's stressful!

02:07:48
@Nan - Good idea.

02:08:05
Do you have a suggestion of key words or words to avoid?

02:08:06
I hold up my hand and say--not today!

02:08:31
about social media question, not yours amy

02:08:39
Sharing joy - I have been sending out a Friday Funnies list of jokes to my colleagues at the end of each week since the pandemic impacted us all.

02:08:46
My husband makes me not look at work email at home. That has made a big difference in my well-being

02:09:25
@Norma Jean, that’s a great idea. What a way to help people end their week on a positive note!

02:09:29
since working from home I miss the "hallway chats" with my team at work. formal meetings not the same. I'm trying to deliberately connect more.

02:10:23
@Norma Jean...that's a great way to keep everyone's spirits up.

02:10:26
we created the "hallway" chat in MS Teams. A page for keeping up as people not just colleagues

02:10:36
It is harder to leave work at work when work is at home...

02:10:50
fascinating idea!

02:10:54
Agreed, Robert

02:11:22
This was my approach to leading when I began at the library and it was a very new concept for my staff. It took some time for them to get on board and join me with their ideas.

02:11:27
I came back into the library early. Working at home stopped working for me

02:11:33
Kisha/Robert: I make a ritual of closing my computer and walking away.

02:11:35
@Robert - Yes, very hard to disengage when WFH. I've been having to consciously remind myself not to self-shame for not being as productive as I normally would be.

02:11:56
@Nan yes, I also turn the sound off during lunch so I can't hear the pings of notifications.

02:12:06
yes--me too!

02:12:25
Good idea, Dana.

02:12:32
Talk less, smile more ;)

02:12:34
My division is closed on the weekends - I turn off email notifications then, or else messages keep on coming in for me.

02:12:40
Listening more - best thing I learned from Nan years ago! :)

02:12:43
I'm working hard on listening more

02:12:48
<3

02:12:51
Agreed, Nan! I cleanse my workspace and literally hide my computer from myself. Energetically, I am trying to create more space for myself

02:13:00
active listening

02:13:01
social media librarians cannot disengage on weekends :(

02:13:01
It’s been hard to build a routine even when back at work as we don’t know how things are going to develop/ change either towards greater opening or going back to being closed.

02:13:04
We have 2 ears and one mouth. Listen twice as hard before speaking.

02:13:32
Yes

02:13:54
I love that!

02:14:20
When I end my Friday Funnies email, I close with this "Stay safe and remember to do something nice for yourself today."

02:14:21
I try to remember... always, sometimes I forget

02:14:38
Norma Jean--lovely@

02:14:49
definitely, self care and prioritizing health was a hard lesson learned this year.

02:14:51
One of my former coworkers had a "funny file" for moments that she needed to laugh.

02:15:11
I have a funny file too! It works!

02:15:36
My sister shared that she listens to comedy podcasts when she needs a 'self-care' pick me up but still needs eyes free to get work done

02:16:17
guilty of giving until its all gone

02:16:29
What I learned in the military: No one will take better care of you than you will.

02:16:32
I've watched SGA, Some Good News on YouTube and it lifted my spirits...

02:16:45
going to bed early when things still need to be done

02:16:56
@Amy yes!

02:16:57
romance novels :)

02:17:10
Yes, feel like I am abandoning my team if I take a day off especially when we are understaffed. I do feel like that leads me to burnout. It’s because of the pandemic that I was able to get back to a state of rest from having to work from home for a few months.

02:17:16
@Amy - most definitely!

02:17:44
@Julie - Me too! I have a bad habit of not taking the vacation days that I should.

02:17:54
My secret guilty pleasure is the detective/hidden object iPad game from Big Fish

02:17:58
@Julie me too!

02:18:12
I feel the same way Julie. I'm definitely working on that one

02:18:45
I'm too new at my job to have days off yet. But my guilty pleasure for unwinding is K-pop soap operas

02:18:51
And TikTok. Even if China is spying on me, those kids are just hysterically funny.

02:19:09
Maybe we should be thinking of taking time off as rotating shiftwork. Today your job is to take time off and tomorrow it will be my turn.

02:19:29
I know that I need to protect myself now looking back on how stressed I was. Didn’t realize it as well until I came out of it. @Eleanor great point!

02:19:48
it's a good example, too, for other staff if the manager takes time off

02:19:59
yes Tiffany

02:20:03
I spent four months earning PTO. I need to protect myself by using it.

02:20:46
@Jill, Yes!

02:22:21
This has been really interesting! Thank you for this presentation and for everyone adding comments - very thought provoking.

02:22:39
One of the most useful webinars I've ever taken.

02:22:40
can you past the link in the comments for survey

02:22:56
Good and thought provoking webinar. Thanks!

02:23:00
Thank you Ami, this was extremely informative and helpful!

02:23:01
https://surveymonkey.com/r/TIROCACEs

02:23:06
Thanks! Validating that it's ok to take care of me was huge!

02:23:11
Thank you! This was very informative

02:23:13
Thank you. Very interesting.

02:23:20
I am hoping to share this with my coworkers. Thank you for your time and shared wisdom!

02:23:26
Thank you. This was a great webinar with information I can use both professionally and personally.

02:23:32
Thank you

02:23:33
Thank you so much, Ami. This is wonderful information and helpful techniques.

02:23:44
Thank you so much. This was great info!

02:23:45
Thank you, It was very educational and helpful.

02:23:47
This was fantastic, thank you!

02:23:48
Thank you to everyone!

02:24:14
Thank you so much!

02:24:26
https://surveymonkey.com/r/TIROCACEs

02:24:36
This was so helpful! Thank you!

02:24:54
I really appreciate this training. Thank you all.

02:25:07
So much great information; thank you!

02:25:31
Thank you for this!

02:25:40
Thanks, The physiological underpinning helps to realize and understand the individual situations better. Great professional presentation. Comments were wonderful... we are not alone But all are in in a similar or the same boat!

02:25:47
Thank you so much. It’s been wonderful sharing space with you all today. May you all be well!

02:25:53
yes-Robert!

02:26:01
I am glad that we will have the recording and access to the slides for further contemplation and sharing with my team.

02:26:02
Excellent presentation, Ami. Thank you so much!

02:26:07
Thank you! Great info that bears repeating - especially at this time.

02:26:35
Thanks, Ami!

02:26:36
Thank you all

02:26:36
Thank you for an excellent presentation!